2017.02.22

I spent all day very irritable, especially towards my students. I felt at a  hands-in-the-air loss telling M.J. to sit down for the nth time. I was ripping out my hair telling Y.T. to read the instructions and grammar explanation before attempting a page in his workbook. Lord help me the TWO (2) times I told C.O. that I'd already explained something once, and she should have listened the first time. I got in Kenji's car very tired and hungry.

There was a point in the day where I wistfully imagined telling W.M., years from now, that she was a big crybaby, and even cried if she so much as couldn't finish her lunch on time. There's certainly an appeal to being able to say that I'd been with these kids for X number of years, since they were in diapers, all the way to graduating elementary school. It's appealing. The day-to-day on this job, however, is murder.

Every day I want to call up some kids' parents and force them to explain what they'd done wrong that day to solicit the call. Make L.T. tell his mother that he spent print time pretending he didn't understand the difference between "I" and "it". I will never be able to do this. If I were an independent tutor, on the other hand, I very well could, and in Japanese to boot.

The thing stopping me from being an independent, freelance tutor is my work visa. The way around that is marriage. The thing stopping me from getting married tomorrow is Kenji, I suppose. I'd said that he should get a new job before we get married, but in reality it's not actually a prerequisite. It'd be nice, though. I picked out a really nice election date (2020.02.02), but it feels too far away. I won't want to wait that long. I told Kenji and he doesn't want to wait that long.

If he doesn't want to wait until 2020, and he doesn't want to do it this weekend, I guess the one thing he's waiting for is a new job. He hasn't really been looking lately. I wonder what it is that'll light the fire under his butt and get him going. I already told him that if it's a good enough job to support both of us, I don't care if it's in Chiba or Kantou or even Honshuu. He just hasn't been looking lately. I wonder if / when he'll start.

After a quick search, he'll start going through his Saturn Return on his birthday this year. We'll see how that goes... And by we'll see, I mean I'm going to be fussing over his charts almost as much as mine for the next few days.

☿△♃ 0308
☽□♂ 0457
☽☌♆ 0645
☽⚹♇ 1336
☽□♀ 1407
☽⚹♆ 1435
♂□♇ 1756
☽□MC 2035

**Personal transits are in blue**